I entered September with so much energy and motivation. But recently, there has been this unexplainable heaviness. The kind that sits with you, unexpectedly but persistently. And while trying to figure out what was wrong, I took time out to have reflective conversations with my friends, and for some reason, the constant theme was comparison and perspective.
The funny but not so funny one was when my friend reminded me of one of our mutual friends who was such a lover boy that he wouldn’t mind spending all his money on expensive gifts for his babe, only to come meet us to sponsor his lunch because he had run out of funds. It was a nostalgic moment, and we laughed about it, but one thing that stuck with me was the fact that in those moments, our mutual friend’s girlfriend was the envy of all the girls back then. Everyone thought she had the absolute best boyfriend because he was so ‘rich and generous,’ but little did they know that my guy was spending his last cash while relying on his friends for lunch. Everything in life is about perspective.
The only reason we could laugh about it was because we saw the part others didn’t see.
Comparison and perspective are two sides of a coin. We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others, judging ourselves by rules that had no business governing us, measuring our achievements by scales that weren’t made for us in the first place. It’s an exhausting loop that leaves you broken and seething in loathing.
I know it is easier said than done. We all want to believe we are above something as stifling as comparison. We all want to claim to be emotionally mature adults who only dance to the drums we beat and are not swayed by other people’s journeys. But let’s be honest-we are humans and sometimes we find ourselves in that corner, phone in hand, wondering when we’ll have something as celebratory-worthy or enviable. It might not happen often, but it’s okay to admit that once in a while, we hear that voice in our head.
No judgment here, folks, safe space remember?
I’ll be the first to admit to giving in to that voice sometimes. I’ll so admit to being the herald of the ‘comparison is a thief of joy’ gospel. In fact, no one cheers on and encourages my friends as much as I do. If you ever feel pressured or as though life isn’t shining brightly at you as it does others, just enter my dm and I’ll snap you out of it lol. But sometimes even my motivational speech doesn’t work on me. Sometimes I just want to sit in the silence, away from all the noise, just me and my God staring at each other waiting for who will speak first lol (p.s. it’s always me lol).
I think the point I’m trying to make is that it’s okay to feel that way. I’m not going to undermine your humanity, and neither should you. There’s no award for most mature or most nonchalant. If the pressure brings you to your knees, then it’s okay to sink to it. If the comparison forces the tears out, then let the dam flow. If the pain and uncertainty of life cripples your faith, it’s okay to feel that way. Do not allow the guilt of your human tendencies to keep you from expressing yourself in the most vulnerable state.
On the flip side, all we have to do is dust ourselves and rise again. When the dam is dry, our knees are broken, and our hearts are shattered, let’s get up again.
So, as I close this train of thought, here’s what I’ll leave with you: comparison will always try to sneak in, but perspective will always bring us back to the center. When life feels heavy, remind yourself that what you see is only one side of the story. There’s more behind the curtain than meets the eye. Give yourself grace in those moments, because the truth is, no one has it all figured out. We’re all just learning, unlearning, and rising again, one day at a time.
This is my gentle reminder to you as we fully immerse in this new month: It’s okay to feel the weight of comparison, it’s okay to succumb to it for a while. But what’s even better is the strength to rise again, to shift perspective, and to hold on to the assurance that no matter what, as long as God lives, you will truly be fine- one day, someday.
Always remember, on those lonely days, your online family is here for you. Never feel shy to reach out to us here-https://www.justhummingbird.com/contact-me/ or here-https://stats.sender.net/forms/e7ly1a/view