Dear Hummingbird,
I find it tough to accept how hard it becomes to make and keep friendships as we grow older.
Life was simpler in secondary school and university; my friends and I were all nearby, so chatting and catching up came easily, and the camaraderie flowed. We could survive on vibes and gossip.
But the reality of ‘adulting’ brought quiet goodbyes. No big fallouts, just unanswered calls, unread messages, and broken promises to call back. I don’t blame my old friends for drifting away because I am just as guilty.
Life is ‘life-ing’ right now: everyone’s scattered across the globe, busy with jobs, some with kids and new families. It hurts that, in prioritising everything else, friendship often becomes collateral damage.
I miss my friends like mad. I spend too many free moments reminiscing about university and secondary school days, reliving everything: the easy laughter, jokes, silly fights, gossip, and banter.
I miss letting my hair down, doing silly stuff, and just being with my favourite people. I try to stay in touch as often as I can, but it’s like holding water in a hand; the tighter I grip, the faster it slips away.
Sometimes, I get tired of reaching out, and then we go months without talking.
It feels unfair that I’m the one who always makes the first move, and though I justify it by saying their lives are busy, so is mine.
It’s a hard thing to ask, but how does one come to terms with friendships fading when they truly want to hold on?
How do you stay when the current is pulling everyone in different directions?
I know Life is life-ing right now, but is it so selfish to say that I miss the days when friendship survived on nothing but vibes and gist?
Is it selfish to admit that I wish my friends cared about ‘us’ as much as I do? I just want my people to miss me and call me. I want to reminisce on the old days while catching up on the present and dreaming of the future.
Anyways, here is my dilemma- how do you make peace with a fading friendship, even when you want it to stay?
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